Total failure

I’m a failure, says X, it’s true, you can’t deny that. But not enough of a failure, you’re right about that. Not a total failure. A middling failure at best. I can’t understand the extent of my failure. If only I could really understand it for once, just for a moment truly understand my failure. I try but I fail to fail, I’m a failed failure, I can’t even fail right. If only I could become a total failure, he says. That’s my ambition, to fail utterly, to become a total failure! If only more people would realise they’re failures and learn to fail properly, he says, fail and smile at their failure, then the world might be a better place. But that’s rare, it must be very rare. Is it even possible? I spend all day failing, or trying to fail, and I can’t do it, I’m a failed failure, a frowning, greedy failure, so there’s nothing for it but to start over tomorrow. What will it take? he asks. What will it take to make people learn to fail, to see the urgency of failing?