My book, The Moment, is available from Splice.

The Moment is the journal of a profound and moving endeavour: the attempt to renew a faith in life through the act of writing. Reflecting on everyday life in the Norfolk countryside as well as some of the richest literary, philosophical and theological ideas of the past couple of centuries, its narrator seeks to work through the legacy of his past by opening himself to the unknown and perhaps to the eternal. Life, Holm Jensen shows in his poised, lapidary prose, is best experienced as a gift, but one that must be received in the right way – by living and thinking beside the thought of luminaries old and new. This is a wisdom book, hushed and intimate, that will repay close contemplation.’

Lars Iyer

The Trap: A Conspiracy Theory

Imagine it was all a trap. Right from the beginning.

The project: to create a living being. An artificial person. A new kind of intelligence.

To replicate the human mind, but take it further. To replicate the human body, but without the flaws that God or Nature had included, or let go unmended.

The project: to create a god.

And thus to become one.

Imagine that this project had been going on for decades, centuries, millennia. Occultists had been dedicated to it for a very long time, in quiet glades and secret temples. More recently, scientists had begun to take it seriously too.

From these two sources, a new class of people had emerged. Flowing in different streams from the worlds of science, the New Age, the hippies, the world of computer technology. Pooling together in a lake that grows into an inland sea.

Call them the tech lords. They have one aim, and they have had that aim from the very beginning. Everything else is secondary to it, and serves its purpose.

They are here to build the great mind.

Now the project is alive, and it seems like destiny. It seems, in fact, like the entire purpose of humanity. Maybe a god made us for this purpose: to create new life on Earth. Or maybe we evolved the ability to summon up the next phase in life’s long and strange journey. Either way: could this be our destiny? To replace ourselves? To supersede our own kind, through our own will, our own power?

Maybe the time has come.

But data is needed. Raw information. To create a digital human, a robotic human, a cyborg, a great mind: this is not an easy task. Such a being would need to be trained, modelled, on something pre-existing. When the God of the Bible wanted to create human life, he took up soil from the ground and breathed on it. Even His breath alone was not enough.

What is our soil?

Where is the raw material?

The answer, suddenly, seems obvious. Look around: there are eight billion walking pieces of training data right here. If we want to build a great mind, if we want to create a post-human race greater than humans ever were, then we must we start with the humans. Any machine we build must be built around them, as a house is built around a timber frame.

They are the seed. They are the soil.

They are the matter we will breathe on.

We will train it on them.

But how do we draw what we need from them? How do we corral them into one place and have them offer up their essence? Surely this is impossible. And yet, to build the great mind, they must give us everything. Their feelings, their opinions. Their political prejudices, their deepest fears and neuroses. They must write us stories and paint us pictures. We must gather together all their books, their stories, their paintings and carvings, right from the beginning.

We need all their works of science – all the papers and experimental results. We need all their works of art – the great novels and the poetry. We need archaeology, history, theology. We need to photograph the very geography and geology of the planet. We need to map every canyon and crevice.

We need the depths of the heart and the mind. We need every impulse and desire, every feeling and passion. We need the genome.

We must feed it all in.

We need the people to tell us everything. We need them to tell us every day, in a continual flowing stream. We need them to react to our prompts. We need them to help the great mind grow, without even knowing they are doing it.

We need to harvest them, like a ripe field.

We need them to help us replace them.

Surely this is impossible.

Unless …

Paul Kingsnorth

Suffering Jukebox

Cranes on the downtown skyline
Is a sight to see for some
It ought to make a few reputations
In the cult of number one

While these seconds turn these minutes
Into hours of the day
While these doubles drive the dollars
And the light of day away

Suffering jukebox
Such a sad machine
You’re all filled up with what other people mean
And they never seem to turn you up loud
Got a lot of chatterboxes in this crowd

Suffering jukebox
In a happy town
You’re over in the corner breaking down
They always seem to keep you way down low
The people in this town don’t want to know

Well, I guess all that mad misery
Must make it seem true to you
But money lights your world up
You’re trapped, what can you do?You got Tennessee tendencies
And chemical dependencies
You make the same old jokes
And malaprops on cue

Suffering jukebox
Such a sad machine
You’re all filled up with what other people mean
Hardship, damnation and guilt
Make you wonder why you were even built

Suffering jukebox
In a happy town
You’re over in the corner breaking down
They always seem to keep you way down low
The people in this town don’t want to know

When I consider how my light is spent

— Milton, Sonnet 19

‘I started writing because no one had yet given me the words I needed. So I wrote them myself.’

Credo

Astray 21

Every day without work is a day of judgement. No money made, nothing proved. Who are these writers who read and write for hours a day without feeling guilty? Who pays the mortgage while they sit and refine their sentences? I miss my mother, though most mornings her old sayings still know where to find me: pull yourself together! Take some responsibility! You know our money won’t last you the rest of your life, don’t you? Why are you wasting your time in church?

LinkedIn job spam beeps in my inbox. Marketing executive. Content strategist. Brand storyteller. Customer success. Business development. I tailor my CV. I send it to universities, agencies, charities, shops with no joy. I join the council’s temp-job database. I don’t get the cleaning jobs. I go into a recruitment office and the man says I’m the third guy today to come in saying the same about AI. He says there’s an admin job available with a business in Hellesdon. Nine to five. But it’s really low-level, he says, you’re over-qualified. I could do that, I say, and straight away feel myself squirming out of it.

I’ve avoided working near other people for twenty-five years. The ones who sent me work and paid me were names in inboxes. I never spoke to them and don’t know where they are now. It’s my own fault, I think. I was never proactive. I was behind the curve. I didn’t pivot in time. I didn’t learn new skills, never networked.

You thought it would last. Now they’ve all moved on. It’s a fast-moving world after all, you should have known that from all the business texts you translated and from how quickly the industry was being automated.

On the way to the pool near the office buildings I pass corporate people wearing lanyards and wonder how they do it. What are all these jobs and how did they get them? How do they bear the same place and people day after day? They seem pretty happy when they talk to each other. Are they acting? When I overhear the men in the locker room talking about their careers and families, I admire them. But surely we were made for something more?

The Crossing

Astray 20

Two months without work. I’ve sent dozens of applications. I apply to AI training sites. The gigs are overcrowded. One involves listening to spoken and written sentences and rating whether they seem human. It takes half an hour and pays three pounds. It’s a strange, tetherless feeling, I tell Rob. I’ll need to start over somehow. I feel like a teenager again. I’ve applied for cleaning jobs, I’m not proud.

Du musst dein Leben ändern, he says.

It looks like it, I say, though he was talking about something else. He was a drifter who relied on women. I’m not sure I ever learned how to live in the real world either. These serious office job descriptions I get in my inbox make me want to top myself. I need a woman to sort me out!

He laughs. You know how that sounds, right? I don’t need to tell you what a woman would say to that. These are attachment problems, grief problems. They come from stuff to do with mum and dad when you were a baby, like your God thing does. We all have them – me too. The trick is to turn them into healthy mourning. You should see some of the people I work with. Their whole lives are bad attachments. They’re grieving for things they never had. You’d count yourself lucky if you met them.

Egon Schiele

Astray 19

I wake up in trouble. Don’t hide your face from me. What can I do to justify my days? They go up like smoke. How long will you hide? You fashioned me in my mother’s womb, in that secret place. You know my sitting and rising, my thoughts before they come to me. You’re on every side of me: where can I go to hide from you? Come then, please, and show me what they mean when they say you made all this out of love. Out of the depths you call me; out of the depths I call you.