Sometimes, it is necessary to abandon all hope. To be nothing. Simply nothing. To remain totally alone, defenseless, it’s horrifying. You need the courage of a madman. But this approach is obviously something sacred.
The most incredible thing is that so much happens outside of the will. You can’t will anything. Not even solitude is an act of will. You simply endure it. You must hold on until the very end, without weakening. You can do nothing else. But you must not believe that because you accept being nothing, you are anyone special.
There is a moment when the task is no longer an effort. When this exhausting work is no longer tiring.
Perhaps somewhere, there is also joy; somewhere, the satisfaction of not allowing oneself to be defeated.
It is terrible to be bound to life. Each second is a struggle.
— Bram van Velde (tr. Tweed and Roman, pensum press)